


leave your lover

by Schriftstellerexcerpts



Series: words are all i have (to take your heart away) [10]
Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 21:47:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16606037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schriftstellerexcerpts/pseuds/Schriftstellerexcerpts
Summary: Waverly’s chin is quivering. “No,” she says. “It’s not you, it’s-““Please don’t say, ‘it’s not you; it’s me,’” Nicole begs. “That’s such a cliché and so not the reason for…whatever this is.”“This is me telling you that we’re never going to be together,” Waverly tells her. “This is me telling you that I’m with Champ now; this is me telling you that we can’t do whatever we’ve been doing anymore.”Nicole walks closer to Waverly and reaches for her, but Waverly flenches away. “Why are you doing this? Why do you want to go back to Champ after everything he did to you? After everything he put you through?”Waverly looks down, then back up. “Because I love him.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, all! This one was requested by @Hedakomskaikru! As always, enjoy and let me know what you think!

**“Leave Your Lover” Sam Smith (2014)**

 

_I don’t have much to give, but I don’t care for gold_

_what use is money, when you need someone to hold?_

_don’t have direction, I’m just rolling down this road_

_waiting for you to bring me in from out the cold_

 

Nicole _knew_ she should have never let herself fall for everything that is Waverly Earp; she _knew_ she shouldn’t have let herself me enamored by Waverly Earp; she _knew_ these things, but she _still_ let herself do them.

 

She thought that maybe, just _maybe_ , she wouldn’t regret giving herself to Waverly. As she is standing here in front of Waverly, though, she feels so much regret that she’s sure her body is overflowing with it.

 

_Nicole, this was never long-term._

 

_Nicole, we aren’t together, remember?_

 

_Nicole, Champ and I got back together._

 

Nicole is biting down on her lip so hard that she’s sure it’ll start bleeding soon. For the first time in forever, she can’t read Waverly; she can’t tell what she’s thinking.

 

_Nicole, say something._

 

_Nicole, don’t turn your back on me._

 

_Nicole, don’t leave me._

 

Nicole is staring at Waverly, hearing everything she’s saying, but somehow _not_ hearing it at the same time. She’s looking at Waverly, but she doesn’t _see_ anything.

 

_Nicole, I’m sorry._

 

_Nicole, I never wanted to hurt you._

 

_Nicole, why aren’t you saying anything?_

 

Something snaps in Nicole and she hits the kitchen counter so hard that her hand goes numb. Waverly jumps and rushes to her, but Nicole stops her.

 

“Don’t,” she says harshly. “Just _don’t_.”

 

Waverly stops abruptly and, just for a second, a flash of hurt comes across her face.

 

“Can you just leave?” Nicole asks. Her jaw clenches and she takes in a deep breath before letting it out.

 

“Nicole…”

 

“I don’t want to you here!” Nicole screams.

 

“We need to talk about this,” Waverly pushes.

 

Nicole feels tears forming in her eyes. She tries to blink them away, but they keep on forming. She can’t even bring herself to look at Waverly so she focuses on the floor.

 

_Nicole, can you please look at me?_

 

_Nicole, let me explain._

 

_Nicole, don’t shut me out._

 

“What about everything you said?” Nicole asks, finally looking up and meeting eyes with Waverly. “What about everything we did?”

 

_you’ll never know the endless nights, the rhyming of the_

_rain,_

_or how it feels to fall behind and watch you call his name_

 

“I-“

 

“Because we _are_ something, Waverly!” Nicole practically shouts. “I let you in and this is what you do?! You’re leaving me so you can go back to that fucking excuse for a man?!”

 

“I’m not leaving you, Nicole,” Waverly tries, her voice wavering. “We can still be friends.”

 

“Friends?!” Nicole yells, laughing with no real humor as tears stream down her face. “I don’t think friends kiss and fuck or do and say what we did!”

 

“Nicole, why are you making this so hard?” Waverly asks. “In the beginning, we said that we would never become anything; that this was just for fun. No strings, remember?”

 

“Oh, come on, Waverly,” Nicole fires back. She sniffles and lets out a shaky breath. “So you’re saying that after all of this time, I mean nothing to you?”

 

“I never said that you mean nothing to me,” Waverly replies. “You mean so much to me, Nicole, and I-“

 

“And you’re leaving me for Champ fucking Hardy,” Nicole finishes for her. “I mean so much to you, but you’re leaving me for Chump; you’re leaving _me_.”

 

Waverly lets out an exasperated sigh. “Nicole, please…”

 

_pack up and leave everything,_

_don’t you see what I can bring_

_can’t keep this beating heart at bay_

_set my midnight sorrow free,_

_I will give you all of me_

 

“Is it me?” Nicole asks. “Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you?”

 

Waverly’s chin is quivering. “No,” she says. “It’s not you, it’s-“

 

“Please don’t say, ‘it’s not you; it’s me,’” Nicole begs. “That’s such a cliché and so not the reason for…whatever this is.”

 

“This is me telling you that we’re never going to be together,” Waverly tells her. “This is me telling you that I’m with Champ now; this is me telling you that we can’t do whatever we’ve been doing anymore.”

 

Nicole walks closer to Waverly and reaches for her, but Waverly flenches away. “Why are you doing this? Why do you want to go back to Champ after everything he did to you? After everything he put you through?”

 

Waverly looks down, then back up. “Because I love him.”

 

Just like that, all of the oxygen is taken out of Nicole’s lungs and she starts gasping for air. She backs away from Waverly and feels all of her walls build back up. How could she have been so stupid?

 

“I think you need to pack your things and go,” Nicole says softly. If Waverly loves Champ, she has nothing left to fight for. Who was she to stand in the way of true love? “I just did some of your laundry and I was going to put your clothes in the drawer you usually keep them in, but I see no reason for that now.”

 

“Nicole…”

 

“What?”

 

_just leave your lover, leave him for me_

_leave your lover, leave him for me_

 

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“You need to go, Waverly,” Nicole tells her. “I can’t stand here and listen to you tell me you’re going back to Champ anymore; I can’t stand here while you…”

 

“While I what?”

 

“While you are literally breaking my heart,” Nicole says, her voice breaking at the end. “Look, I could stand here and beg you to leave him for me; beg you to stay, but I’m not going to. I want you to be happy; I’ve only ever wanted you to be happy so, if Champ makes you happy, then I want you to be with him.”

 

“You do?”

 

Nicole sighs and runs a hand through her short hair. “Of course I don’t want you to be with him, Waverly!” She shouts. “I want to be with you! I want to be the reason you’re happy!”

 

“I’m-“

 

“Sorry, I know.”

 

“We can be friends, okay? Can’t we do that?”

 

“No, Waverly, we can’t!” Nicole screams, another set of tears making their way down her face. “I can’t be just friends with you when I’m…”

 

“When you’re what?”

 

_we sit in bars and raise our drinks to growing old_

_oh, I’m in love with you and you will never know,_

_but if I can’t have you I’ll walk this life alone,_

_spare you the rising storms and let the rivers flow_

 

“Nothing,” Nicole quickly says. “If you’re leaving me, then why are you still here?”

 

“Would you stop saying that I’m leaving you?” Waverly asks, weariness etched in her voice. “I’m not leaving you, Nicole. I’m still here; I’m still going to be in your life.”

 

“No, you’re not,” Nicole replies, shaking her head. “Once you leave, I won’t be able to look at you anymore let alone _talk_ to you.”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

 

“Says the girl leaving me for her no good ex-boyfriend!”

 

_you’ll never know the endless nights, the rhyming of the_

_rain_

_or how it feels to fall behind and watch you call his name_

 

“I can’t do this,” Waverly says as she wipes the tears off of her face.

 

“Okay, then I’ll go get a bag for you to put all of your stuff in,” Nicole replies as she starts to walk out of the kitchen. Before she can leave, though, Waverly grabs her wrist.

 

“No, I mean I can’t lie to you anymore,” Waverly responds. “I’m not going back to Champ, Nicole.”

 

Nicole blinks a few times. “What do you mean? Waverly, what’s going on?”

 

Waverly’s chin starts quivering again. “Champ came up to me the other day and told me that if I don’t break up with you and go back to him that he’ll tell the whole town that you and I are…whatever we are.”

 

“How does he know about us? We’ve been careful. Hell, we barely even talk when we see each other in public.”

 

Waverly shrugs. “I don’t know, but somehow he knows,” she tells Nicole. “I’m not ready to be out to the whole town, Nicole. I haven’t even told Wynonna yet…”

 

Nicole sighs. “I’m going to kick his ass.”

 

_pack up and leave everything,_

_don’t you see what I can bring_

_can’t keep this beating heart at bay_

_set my midnight sorrow free,_

_I will give you all of me_

 

“Nicole, what am I going to do?”

 

“We’ll figure it out, okay?” Nicole assures her. “I’m going to go talk to him.”

 

“But…”

 

“But nothing, Waverly,” Nicole says as she heads for the front door. “When I get back, we’re talking about what we are, okay? There are things that I need to say to you; things I’ve been holding back. I don’t want to hold back anymore, Waves.”

 

_just leave your lover, leave him for me_

_leave your lover, leave him for me_

 

“I don’t want to hold back anymore either.”

 

_leave your lover, leave him for me._

 

 


	2. say it first

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We’re in a relationship,” Waverly says. “You’ve never said that before.” 
> 
> Nicole shrugs. “I’ve never said a lot of things before.” 
> 
> “What’s that mean?” Waverly asks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, all! Enjoy the second part of this story!

**Say It First - Sam Smith (2017)**

 

_I never feel like this_

_I’m used to emptiness in my heart_

_And in my arms_

 

When Nicole pulls up to Champ Hardy’s house, she puts her truck in park and stomps up to the door. When he answers it, she pushes him inside and up against the wall.

 

“What the hell, Nicole?” Champ says, trying and failing to get out of Nicole’s grasp.

 

“You need to leave Waverly alone,” Nicole tells him.

 

“What are you talking about?” He asks.

 

“You told her to break things off with me and come to you or you’d tell the whole town that we’re together,” Nicole says.

 

“So you guys are together?”

 

Nicole pushes him further against the wall. “That’s none of your business,” she tells him. “How did you find out?”

 

“That’s none of your business,” Champ fires back.

 

Nicole knees him in his stomach. “How did you find out?”

 

“Okay, okay,” Champ says. “I saw you guys making out behind Shorty’s.”

 

“Listen, you son of a bitch, if you so much as mumble to anyone in this town that Waverly and I are a thing, I will make sure that you never become a cop,” she tells him. “I have connections. Waverly isn’t ready to be out yet so I suggest you keep your mouth shut.”

 

Champ laughs. “I don’t think you can keep me from becoming a cop.”

 

Nicole knees him in the stomach again. “Wanna bet?”

 

“Okay, shit,” Champ mutters. “I won’t say a word.”

 

“And don’t come near Waverly. Do you hear me? Don’t talk to her, don’t look at her, and don’t think about her,” Nicole says. “You need to move on.”

 

“Can you get off of me?” Champ asks.

Nicole lets him go, but not without pushing him one more time. “I mean it, Hardy,” she says as she walks towards the door. “Leave her alone.”

 

_You’re not what I’m used to_

_You keep me guessing with things that you do_

_I hope that they’re true_

 

When Nicole gets back to her house, she finds Waverly in the kitchen pacing back and forth.

 

“You’re home,” Waverly observes as she stops pacing.

 

“Champ’s not going to say anything,” Nicole tells her. “I’m sure of that.”

 

“You didn’t beat him up, did you?” Waverly asks her. “Because you know how I feel about violence, Nicole. There’s other ways to get your point across than beating someone up.”

 

Nicole sighs. “I didn’t beat him up, Waverly,” she says. “Are we going to talk about this?”

 

Waverly looks at the floor.

 

“Why wouldn’t you just tell me?” Nicole asks her. “You were seriously going to break up with me without an explanation; without telling me what Champ said to you? I mean, you could do that to me?”

 

Waverly looks at Nicole. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

 

Nicole feels her throat start to burn. She swallows hard and clenches her jaw. “You were hurting me either way,” she says. “I understand and respect that you’re not ready to be out to everyone in town, but Champ does not have any power, okay? He’s just struggling to get over you. He’s angry and that’s not an excuse for what he said to you. What he said also isn’t an excuse for you to shut me out.”

 

“I wasn’t trying to shut you out,” Waverly tells her. “I was trying to make it better for you. You can’t possibly tell me that it’s not hard for you to act like we’re not together when we’re in public. I know it’s exhausting for you, just like it’s exhausting for me.”

 

“Of course it’s hard, Waverly,” Nicole says. “I want nothing more than to hold your hand as we’re walking down the street; I want nothing more than to kiss you in front of everybody; I want nothing more than to tell the whole, damn world that you’re mine. You know what else, though? I can wait to do those things until you’re completely and utterly comfortable with me doing so. I don’t care that it’s exhausting. It’s worth it — you’re worth it.”

“You know that I didn’t actually want to break up with you, right?” Waverly asks.

 

“You had me thinking otherwise,” Nicole tells her. “Even now I’m not sure. Maybe what Champ said made you feel relieved, you know? Maybe you figured that you could just end things with me and go back to him without having any regrets because things would be back to how they used to be. You wouldn’t have to worry about me anymore.”

 

“Nicole, that’s not at all true,” Waverly says. “Why would you think that? You think I don’t care for you because I’m not out to my friends and family? You think you’re disposable because I can’t fully commit to you yet?”

 

_‘Cause I’m never gonna heal my past_

_If I run every time is starts_

_So I need to know, if I’m in this alone_

 

Nicole tries her hardest to hold her tears back. “You were going to leave me, Waverly. Instead of telling me what was really going on, you were going to leave me.”

 

“To protect you.”

 

“To protect me from what?!” Nicole asks. “Protect me from you? From…” she trails off. “Protect me from Champ? Are you fucking kidding me?!”

 

Waverly walks closer to Nicole, but Nicole backs up.

 

“You make me feel like I’m no better than Champ,” Nicole tells her. “Did I do something to make you think that you couldn’t talk to me about anything? Is our relationship so worthless that you could just end it and walk away?”

 

Despite the upset Nicole standing in front of her, Waverly smiles.

 

Nicole furrows her eyebrows. “You’re smiling,” she says. “What the hell, Waverly? You’re so fucking confusing.”

 

Waverly continues smiling. “You said relationship.”

 

“I did?” Nicole questions, rubbing the back of her neck. “I guess I did, yeah.”

 

“We’re in a relationship,” Waverly says. “You’ve never said that before.”

 

Nicole shrugs. “I’ve never said a lot of things before.”

 

“What’s that mean?” Waverly asks.

_Come on baby, say it first_

_I need to hear you say those words_

_If I’m all that you desire, I promise there’ll be fire_

 

“I’ve never felt what I feel for you for anyone,” Nicole tells Waverly. “So when you were going to break things off with me to go back to Champ, I got scared. Every time we kiss; every time I hold you; every time you tell me I make you happier than you’ve ever been, I always think that it’s too good to be true. I thought that was surfacing when you were going to break up with me.”

 

“Nicole, you know my feelings for you are deeper than anything,” Waverly says. “I don’t care about Champ, okay? He got the best of me for a moment; he controlled me again for a moment, but he didn’t succeed. I’m sorry that I allowed him to get the best of me, even if it was just for moment.”

 

_Do your worst_

_I know you’ll take me higher_

_Some come on darling_

_If you love me, say it first_

 

“I’m sorry I doubted your feelings for me,” Nicole says. “This is all so new to me, you know? I’ve never been in a serious relationship before so I don’t know how to react sometimes.”

 

“We’re both learning and that’s okay,” Waverly says, reaching out for Nicole.

 

Nicole walks closer to Waverly and wraps her arms around her. “Promise me that we’re not going to let anyone try and ruin our relationship again.”

 

“I promise,” Waverly says. “Promise me you’re not going to run when things get hard.”

 

“I promise,” Nicole says before kissing the top of Waverly’s head. “Waverly, I…”

 

“What?” Waverly asks, looking up at Nicole.

 

_I know you’re right for me_

_But I’m waiting for everything in your world_

_To align with my world_

 

Nicole looks down at Waverly and studies her face. Her beautiful, brown eyes; her gorgeous lips; the wrinkles on her forehead. Everything about the girl in her arms is beautiful. Her soul is honest and pure. How did Nicole get so lucky to have this girl want her? This girl who kisses her like no one ever has; this girl who makes her laugh til her stomach hurts; this girl who dances in her kitchen and cooks her dinner; this girl who looks at her like she’s the only thing good in this world; this girl who makes her feel complete.

 

Nicole leans down and kisses Waverly. It’s tender and slow and makes Nicole’s heart do a little dance because Waverly is kissing her back with all of the emotions they both feel. If allowed, the kiss could become heated and take them to the bedroom, but Nicole doesn’t want that right now. When Waverly tries to slip her tongue into Nicole’s mouth, Nicole pulls away.

 

“What’s wrong?” Waverly asks as she chases Nicole’s lips.

 

“Nothing’s wrong,” Nicole assures her. “I just…I need to…”

 

“You need to what?” Waverly asks.

 

_I think of you while I sleep_

_I dream of what we could be if we grow_

_Together unfold_

 

Nicole takes a deep breath in, then lets it out. “I love you,” she tells Waverly. “I’m sorry if it’s too soon for me to say that or if it’s selfish of me to say that, but-“

 

“I love you, too,” Waverly says, interrupting Nicole.

 

“You do?” Nicole asks.

 

Waverly nods and pulls Nicole in for another kiss.

 

_Say it_

_Won’t you say it to me_


End file.
